Thursday, March 25, 2010

Decisions, Decisions

I hate decisions. I always have. I feel the need to way out every single option, and then I'm scared that what I choose will be a waste of time/resources/money/etc. The current decision weighing on me is Grad School. Here's the dealio...
   We are in year two of "the 5 year plan" which originally looked something like this (kinda weird to write this down, but here we go)...

June 2009-June 2010: Get married (check!), rock out my first year of teaching
June 2010-June 2011: Grad School (while still teaching)
June 2011-June 2012: Move (build or buy)
June 2012-June 2013: Preggars

Well, we are not even through year 1, and it's already changing. Figures, right?

Here are the reasons NOT to go to Grad School:
- Currently, there is legislation that will make it to where teachers will not get paid for advanced degrees, but will instead be "paid for their performance". While most people think it is crazy and will not pass, it is there which means I could go to school and then never be paid for it.
- Grad School comes at the cool price of $12,000, and scholarship money isn't looking too good at the moment.
- On the current salary schedule, it will take 4 years to be paid back in raises for the cost of Grad School. That is the exact time that we hope to start a family, and there is still a possibility that I may spend a few years at home. That would mean, I could potentially "loose money" in the short term.
-I'm not 100% sure what I want to get it in. After all, I've only taught one year in one subject. What if i teach Math next year and LOVE that or decide I would rather teach elementary or high school. Then a degree in adolescent reading won't do very much for me
-I'm not sure that I want to stay in education forever. Don't get me wrong, I love it right now, but thinking about doing it for 30 years, scares me. If I potentially change careers, I may need to do schooling then, and this degree would seem like a waste.
- I'm not excited about going. That may sound like a big duh, but when I think about other careers, I feel excited. This feels like something I need to just get through.
-There is a chance that I may not have a teaching job next year. But, this also may be a reason to do it, because what else would I be doing next year?

Reasons to suck it up and DO IT...
- If I stay in education and the current salary schedule stays, I would get large raises for the rest of my career.
- Getting the degree now will keep me from having to do it later when life is more complicated. Mainly, it will keep me from having to do it after we do have kids.
-A Masters is essential if I ever want to advance to a different position in Education such as administration.
-I enjoy school. I would learn a lot in the classes and hopefully become a better teacher.

All these thoughts are constantly swirling in my head. The really scary thing is, I have to take the MAT NEXT TUESDAY if I want to move forward with all this, and then one application deadline is April 1 and the other is May 1. AY YA YA.

I talked to everyone who will listen about this. The only person who has given me any comfort at all is my Heavenly Father, who knows all and sees all. I am praying that HE will reveal what is the best plan for my life, the plan that gives Him the most glory. Today, I was humming "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus", and oh how it is! I know that He guides my steps. I'm always so interested and anxious to see what the next one is....

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