Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Only one person will understand this...

MY LIFE:





MY BRAIN:

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Plans & Purpose


My Best Friend Amory and I on graduation day.

This is the current question of my life...

"So, you graduated? How do you feel?"


Well...
I feel guilty for even saying this but, I feel pretty crappy. My life has been uprooted (see post below). I miss my friends, my freedom, my schedule, my sense of accomplishment, etc. PLUS, my life is basically a wreck right now. I am living out of boxes filled with expo markers and rain boots next to old textbooks and half used shampoo. Don't get me wrong, I am PUMPED with a capital P about marrying Jas. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have that direction right now. It just stinks because nothing is going according to plan. You see, I am a planner. And I am currently without plan as to what my life will look like over the next year. I have NO CLUE what I am doing as far as a job, and I am not entirely sure I want to make my major my career after all. Basically, I am standing way way back at square 1.


I know that GOD's PLANS ARE HIGHER THAN MINE. I am FORCING myself to believe the truth that God promised that he DIRECTS my paths and ORDERS my steps. I know that He is with me and is guiding my every move, but it is so scary in the fog of plan-less confusion.

But yanno what is great? Although I am plan-less, I am not purpose-less!

I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. Pslam 57:2

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverb 19:21


My purpose is not and will never be found in a job title or activity. I am a child of God, placed on earth to fulfill the great commission and bring glory back to God. I am not defined by my own accomplishments. I know that God will provide financially, He already has!! I really don't even desire the frivolous things in life so I don't know why I am freaking out about not having a disposable income when some people don't know where their next meal is coming from. Yes Lord, my purpose on earth is to glorify you, and nothing at all can change that. And if living a year or ten without a job or a plan can bring glory to God then so be it!!

but he said to them, "I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns as well; for I was sent for this purpose." Luke 4:4

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, "For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." Rom 9:17









Sunday, May 10, 2009

Changes

Siiiiiiiigh.

I am currently sitting in the apartment that I will share with a husband in 41 days, and staring at unpacked boxes filled with four years of memories from my second home, Berry College.

I can't believe this.

I can't believe I will never return to Berry as a student.
I can't believe I will be a married woman in a little over a month.
I can't believe the whirlwind of change swirling around me.

As I left campus for the last time yesterday, I drove the whole campus and looked out upon all the places where I had created so many memories. The tears flowed from my eyes and I relived many of those memories for a moment; trips to dining hall, walks around campus, driving with music blaring, hours spent in classrooms, quiet times at the chapel, and so much more.

Then I drove home to see freshly painted walls by my wonderful fiance and a room full of gifts that will help make our home from incredible friends and family.

Things, they are a-changing.

I didn't think I would be this sad or emotional. It's not like I don't want to move on. I just feel like a huge and wonderful chapter of my life is over. Even though I know the next chapter is wonderful, it is painful to turn the page.


***********EDIT*************
Even with all this, how GREAT is it to serve a GOD that never changes?!

"I, the Lord, do not change."
Malachi 3:6

Even though things in life are constantly changing. God is CONSTANT and STEADFAST. Circumstances will alter, walls I build will crumble, people I love will die. But MY GOD will never change, and I will trust in Him, THE ROCK on which I build my life.
Thank you God that you never change. You don't mess up. You don't get confused. You don't get behind. You don't worry, panic, or fear. YOU are in control of my life because YOU know what you are doing and I don't.
And as if that wasn't enough, look what else Mr. Never-gonna-change sent my way....
If I say, "My foot is slipping," Your loyal love, O Lord, supports me. When worries threaten to overwhelm me, Your soothing touch makes me HAPPY."
Psalm 94:18-19
New English Translation