Sunday, January 4, 2009

Modern Bride, Jesus edition


I am simply steaming with emotions. So many, in fact, I feel overwhelmed at even listing them, but I'll do my best.

I feel frustrated.
So, I'm getting married in 6 months. Most of the wedding planning has been absolutely great! I am working hard to cherish this time of my life. Anticipating the wedding is so exciting. I love putting my personal touch on things, and finding ways to make the wedding awesome. But, on the other side, there is frustration. For the first time today, I had that "man, we should have just eloped" feeling. Why can't things just be simple? I was talking to my 90 year old great aunt today about when she got engaged and married. She said that the whole process went as follows.

Boy meets girl. Boy says "hey, wanna get married?". Couple goes to court house or preacher's house. Wham, bam, thank you mam.

Crazy how this simple, amazing union ordained by God has been twisted into this THING! A crazy, money-hungry industry that makes people compare themselves to others, to act out of greedy, to feel inadequate, to loose sight of the beauty of the union.

Well, I refuse.

Ultimately, I want my wedding to do one thing, and it isn't what you think...

I want it to bring glory to my Father.

That's what my life is about afterall.

Pinned up next to me is a life mission statement I wrote when I was 18. My mom found it in a old notebook from school, and cut it and out and pinned it up. It says,

"In my few short years on this earth, I want to worship my God, fellowship with others, do what God wants me to do, become like Jesus, and most importantly take as many with me to Heaven as I possibly can."

I hope, in the next few days to make a mission statement for my wedding too perhaps. But I know that the overall goal is already listed above. Today, I failed at this goal. I became frustrated, I let myself feel inferior, I had a bad attitude, I was rude to those who love me, I lost sight of the beauty.

I'm sorry Father for my failures. Thank you for forgiveness. Thank you that you are bigger than centerpieces, menus, and bridesmaid dresses. Please help me to focus all that I have on only you. Don't let me loose sight of what is important, even in the midst of chiffon and fondant. I want you more, I love you more.

For what shall it profit a man, If he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Mark 8:36

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